It would seem that a person in the twenty-first century should have absolutely no difficulties meeting new people. After all, the Internet opens up tremendous opportunities for this – from social networks and instant messengers to dating websites and anonymous video chats. So why, then, millions of people worldwide have difficulty meeting new people and remain single?
Yes, online dating has opened up many opportunities to find new friends and even soul mate. But don’t forget that the world is changing. And the people in it are changing too. It is these changes in ourselves that complicate dating. We want to talk about them in more detail.
Five factors that make it difficult for you to date
Factor №1. We do not trust other people
Unfortunately, it’s true. We became not just sceptical but paranoid and obsessed. When a stranger writes to us on a social network, we are almost sure that this is either a scammer, a “networker”, or an ordinary bot. And acquaintances in real life are perceived with caution. Imagine that a stranger comes up to you on the street and tries to start a conversation. Most likely, you will think that this is a promoter of some company.
We tend to be wary of new people in our lives. On the one hand, this is justified in the 21st century. But on the other hand, this is how you can miss the opportunity to find the love of your life. Try to be a little more open.
Factor №2. Our expectations are too high
We often forget that around us, there are people like us with their own flaws and shortcomings. But we continue to search for the ideal created in our subconsciousness stubbornly. Girls are waiting for a prince on a white horse; men are looking for their top model from the cover of a glossy magazine.
Remember, you can’t try to fit ordinary people into templates from movies, magazines, advertisements or music videos. The beautiful picture that you saw somewhere is just an image. It may have nothing to do with reality. It is possible and necessary to strive for the ideal, but be objective and eliminate illusions.
Factor №3. We do our best to protect ourselves from stress
Falling in love is always stressful. Especially when you don’t know if it is mutual or not. Every day you wind yourself up to more and more, look for signs of reciprocity in a person, get nervous. And when it comes to admitting your feelings, it can be very stressful. In the case of refusal, everything only gets worse.
Many of us deliberately give up relationships to protect ourselves from such stress and even prolonged depression in the future. They prefer to remain single, although, in reality, they dream of meeting the person to share life with. You should not go to extremes and deny attempts to start a relationship. Just try to be more rational and take the situation more coolly.
Factor №4. We are overly rational
Modern people are inclined to rationalize, plan and predict everything. We try to calculate everything in advance, think it over, weigh the pros and cons. As a result, potentially strong and good relationships have no chance to develop just because we figured it out.
Due to their excessive rationality, many people weed out any casual acquaintances, fundamentally do not meet on the street and do not accept spontaneity in any of its manifestations. I’m afraid that’s not right and must be fought against.
Factor №5. We’re just tired
The world around us lives in a crazy rhythm, and every year it only accelerates. Many people can’t keep up with this pace. After the study, work and personal affairs, there is no strength left for anything. Just turn off your phone and go to bed to start over in the morning. It’s a road to nowhere, and the sooner you realize it, the better.
Try to plan your day more efficiently. Leave time for relaxation and yourself. Have no doubt, communication with other people will get better because living in a condition when you are often “worn out” is completely wrong.
How can you date if it seems that the entire world is against you?
Millions of people, especially men, will attest to how difficult it can be to meet in the real world. Almost everyone had a situation when they were literally “kicked off” without giving the word to say. And it is not much better on the Internet. When trying to get acquainted, for example, you can easily go to the “blacklist” on social networks”. Modern people are extremely reluctant to make contact; this is a fact.
We want to give some tips:
- Firstly, use special dating services. First of all, these are dating websites and random video chats. We advise you to try CooMeet live.
- Secondly, try to get to know each other more actively and more often. This will improve your communication skills and help you find a common language with other people faster.
- Thirdly, do not give up after a few unsuccessful acquaintances or rejections. This is completely normal on the internet. The main thing is to try, use different communication formats and not stop.
We want you to keep the following phrase in your head: “Each couple is direct proof that successful acquaintances and relationships are real and achievable!”
Try to see online dating as a kind of job. Do not perceive internet dating as something secondary and not particularly significant. It can radically change your whole life. So, take your search seriously.
And finally, we will give you one more useful recommendation: do not put unnecessary restrictions on yourself. Many people, for example, try to find a date exclusively in their city. Others do not use dating websites, mistakenly believing that this is already a last resort. Others are ardent online dating opponents and try to look for a soul mate only in real life. All these restrictions are outright nonsense, which must be got rid of as soon as possible. Go beyond, discover new communication formats, meet different people yourself. Perhaps your true love is hiding in places you never expect to find. And remember: he who seeks will always find!